Tuesday, 28 June 2011

June 28th: Identity Confusion

So weird dream. Was in a club. First it was just me going to see someone there, loads of people were dancing and drinking. Dark with a red ambience probably created by the light. There were tv's and the steps were red carpet.
It was my birthday and everyone had come including Daniel and Helen. His girlfriend was meant to come to our night out but she decided to go elsewhere because I was drunk elsewhere. My dream is now taking the form of me watching their siloheute shapes from a corridor into a room. She's arguing because she wants him to go with her but he says he has to stay here and look after me. Then I'm him watching her storm off.
He comes back and I feel slightly elated he chose to be with me and we're both sitting on a sofa very similar to the one at the flat. But then he's all over me wanting to have sex and now he's my ex. I say use my talking to my ex voice and offend him and he's gotten off of me and he's Daniel again, offended and regretting his choice to be with me. He starts engaging in conversation with the girl sitting next to us, and I'm hurt. My uncle is also in the dream - he says something to me but I don't know what. My work mate a different one to primark boy takes me into another room and says he could satisfy me, using cigarettes as a demonstration he points out how much of the penis is needed to give the girl pleasure and says he suffices and is there. We go back to the room and he's smoking a cigarette, mayfair, and he's fitting another ten box easily into his current box which has about 5 in there. We get to a school and the girl daniel was with after me is there bawling her eyes out and giving me the dirtiest look ever. I go up some stairs following a single file line. He's waiting to talk to me very made in chelsea/ the hills style. I can't remember the exact words but he asks me out. I say yes. We go into an ICT class and I sit opposite Daniel and we smile at eachother. Then Bernard is beside me being really nice. And I realise I wana be with him. Daniel disappeared and I was suddenly under the impression I had agreed to go out with my ex again. I was thinking of ways to dump my ex so I could make Bernard happy. Hmmm. He was just smiling at me his whole face lighting up as I stared at him
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Sunday, 26 June 2011

June 26th: "The next train is at the end of this hour"

Don't remember much of this dream, only bits and pieces. We were on the trains, me my mum, my sister and my grandparents. My sister and my gran already got on this central line train. It was meant to be mile end station but it looked nothing like it. The doors were beeping and me and mum were running towards it, and we didn't make it. We watched as my sister looks really pissed off. Mum mouths something like we'll meet u at the next stop. I remember yet again feeling rushed and like we have somewhere to be. I think we met her on the next station because suddenly we're reunited and walking along the tracks because the last train won't come until the end of that hour. I.E at 59 minutes. Then we walk through the parts of a station your supposed to walk through, all stairs and ceramic white tiled walls and we're almost being swept away by the crowd. There's a archway to the left of me and I see a train with light blue rails and I realise its a victoria line train. When we finally get onto a train there's my dad and my grandad who I recognise, and we get on a district line train.

When we go home mum dad me and someone else are sitting in my old room. My dad has a blue carrier bag and I see he has cigeratters in them. Mayfair. When they leave I take them, but he comes back and I try to hide them suddenly feeling anxious. I stuff them into a drawer and he sees me. He goes I'm not surprised you had them. And he walks out with them.

I also remember being in a car going down a road at night lined with trees and it was raining.
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Saturday, 25 June 2011

June 25th - "You know how they say in ur dreams..."

So the most amazing dream I had today. Me, Helen and another girl I don't seem to know who were stuck in traffic on the top deck of a bus in central. It was packed out and we were sitting on outer seats in a triangle formation.

Then I was rushing to get somewhere a feeling of being rushed, and I was walking quickly down this road. As I walk I see Stephen Uppal with some other guy and a bit further back but clearly with him another soap actor. I was looking at Stephen Uppal in this omg is it really him expression and he was looking at me with intrigue and confusion and. I walked past him and as I turned back to see if he was looking he was! I remember feeling my stomach flip as he smiled at me. As I walked by his friend that was further back, I took a deep breath and asked him how he was familiar. He said that he was in Hollyoaks, and the whole time he was speaking to me I had my eyes on him. He had said something to the guy that was next to him and stopped walking ahead and walked toward us. I talked to him directly then.
"I didn't realise who you were from last time - you know when I saw you in Funky Buddha"
He chuckles " Yeah, it's me"

They get in a car that's tinted out and black inside. I hear his friends urging him on. I walk on realising that I have to go somewhere, but they pull up next to me and I can see the light on his phone and my heart races. he flips the phone to me. He has my old phone the LG cookie which was abit weird. I try entering my number and I get it wrong, my fingers touching the wrong keys, and my frustration causing more mistakes. I'm so flustered at this point. They tell me to hurry up because they have to be somewhere and it only makes me more flustered. It should have been a quick enter my number and flip his phone back thing. I recite my own number to myself and enter it and when I finally get it right I suddenly think its not my number and enter my ex's number thinking its mine. I only realise my mistake when I wake up and remember tapping in the triple 8 that is in his number.

Anyway I'm so excited when I see the girls and I tell them immediately and they're just as astounded and excited as I am. I wake up as my phone bleeps - my alarm goes off. Dreaded alarm.
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Tuesday, 21 June 2011

21st June: "Wait for the right guy to show up"

This one was funny one. My exBf was with us in slough with Helen and Norman.We went to eat and he was breaking up with me. I can't remember what he was saying. I left the place and saw our old mate Jazz across the road and I ran to him and give him the hugest hug. He was so happy to see me he picked me up and spun me around holding me so tight. His mate was also there. I told him about how my ex was treating me and they were shocked.

I was in some scatty chicken and chip shop sitting on my own in the corner. I was aware I was on my own but strangers were sitting around me an old man to my left and a girl opposite. I ordered a snack box like they have in kfc and two extra pieces of chicken.

Then I was outside in the streets of central london. Daniel was with me as was several other people like my aunt (cassie's mum) we were waiting for a bus when cassie's mum gives me advice on the boys, telling me that I should wait around for a guy that I want to be with and one that wants to be with me and is worth it. She uses Daniel and my ex as bad examples. The whole time she was saying this she had been holding onto a bus, but then the bus moves and drives off and she let's go in astonishment. The bus she had been
waiting for was that one. It was the 5 that takes me home after work. I wasn't waiting for that bus. Daniel was beside me agreeing to my aunt telling me I should wait. I remember at this point the sky was turning blue
in my dream. We walked some more and I don't really remember what happened next. I just know this dream had a theme of lonliness

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Sunday, 19 June 2011

June 19th: "From day one she's been a loner"

Me my sister mum and dad. Me and mum were in a car park. My sister was angry at me for some reason. We got in the car and my sister is sitting in the passenger seat while dad drives. She tells dad to drop me at the station do that I can make my own way home. She said its coz I'm like to do things my own way because I'm a loner and I always have been. From day one at school I've been a loner. Mum doesn't let me go by myself she gets out with me. We're back in the car park, but she's being off. She takes me to the car which is parked and she asks me to put parts of the wheel back on before dad finds out because they fell off. I fix it easily.

I'm in camden, looking at the red spotty bag that I wanted to buy (shopping trip me thinks) and the fat chinese lady is there so I know I'll get it for eight quid. There's a marquee on the otherside of the stall so its a really tight narrow passage. We end up in there but it looks more like a flourescent light lit room inside.

Daniel is in my dream. I remember feelings of anticipation. He's running from something he can't escape. He's about to get in his car, but I know he shouldn't move it. He falls to the floor and when he looks to the bottom of his car he finds the floor covered in bombs layed out like a circuit board each with a flame on top. He quickly blows them all out before it goes off like candles on an alarm. Then he just lies back on the floor like he's resigned to his fate tired and exhausted.
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